Jason, a
slender, sandy blonde-haired man with sharp blue eyes and
Tatiana, a tall, brunette with sparkling brown eyes, have been
married nearly five years. At first they appear to be an average
middle American couple, but as soon as Tatiana begins to speak,
the difference is obvious. Tatiana is not American at all. She is
a Russian wife. Some estimates suggest around 10,000 marriages a
year between American men and Russian women, many through Russian
matchmaking agencies. As with all marriages, there is no
guarantee of success, but many couples say the pairings are
perfect. In fact, USCIS recent survey found that divorce rate in
marriages involving Russian wives is lower than USA national
average.
Jason met his wife using online
Russian matchmaking agency OneWife.com. They exchanged
correspondence and after a while he visited Tatiana in her home
town. Before long, Jason decided to invite Tatiana to USA for a
visit. One and a half years later they were married and his
Russian wife moved to America permanently.
Tatiana writes from home and takes care of the couple's
7-year-old son, Jacob. She, like many Russian women, takes great
care of her appearance and rarely leaves the house without
applying her makeup. She and Jason also attend a twice-weekly
ballroom and salsa dance class that helps her stay fit. "Russian
women simply do not gain weight the way American women do," she
laughs, "it is because we must learn to be moderate very young.
There are not a lot." she pauses, searching for the word, "of
choices in Russia."
In general, Russian women looking for American husbands already
know English, although not necessarily as well as a native
speaker. They also may not have had experience with things like
credit cards and ATM's. However, this does not mean they are
backward or unintelligent. Many Russians simply learned to prefer
cash over banks after the collapse of the Soviet Union in the
1990's. Usually these are intelligent, educated women who, either
due to circumstance (statistically there are far fewer Russian
men than women) or a desire to try for a better life, have come
to desire marriage with an American.
Tatiana and Jason have such a happy successful marriage because
both came to the altar ready to compromise and work together. It
is sometimes suggested by agency sites that connect American men
with Russian women that all Russian women want a traditional
marriage and are willing "slaves" to their husbands. This is not
true. Many women are looking for a stable marriage and, most
importantly, a good husband. What this can mean depends on the
man and woman. Russian women are, traditionally, raised to be
more compromising and flexible, after all, this is a country
where it is expected that people work together and families are
very important. One sticking point for some marriages is that
Russian women are not necessarily as passionate about
Christianity as an American man may expect. Tatiana and Jason
have no such problems as Jason is agnostic. "I am able to let him
live his lifestyle," Tatiana says, "for me, religion is just a
part of life, not something to push forward all the time."
A common myth is that a Russian wife is submissive and a virtual
slave to her husband and family. The truth is Russian woman can
be just as independent and strong as American women, but their
strength is shown through their recognition of the need to
compromise and adapt to situations. Tatiana's wry, cynical sense
of humor is usual for Russian women as well. "She tells it like it is," Jason laughs, "but is willing to work with me to find
ways to make our life work. She's no submissive wife, but she's
also not going to chase me around with a frying pan."
"That's what you think," Tatiana responds.
*names have been changed at the couple's request.
--
OneWife has many single Russian ladies in their database. You can
find more stories about
Russian
wives at
Russian matchmaking
agency OneWife.